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I can't get pregnant... What the hell??!! (Part I to Surviving Infertility and moving onto Adoption)
It's something I have kind of always suspected about myself, I don't know how to explain it, I just knew, I knew something was wrong with me. I had been too lucky. I come from a small town where the teen pregnancy rate is typically higher than usual and in my small town there were few things to occupy the average rambunctious teenager so a lot of us ended up having sex at an early age. I knew more girls than I could count on two hands, girls that were my friends, that got pregnant at a young age and in every instance, it was an accident, a devastating accident. A few of them did choose to have their baby but most opted for abortion. I was never one of those girls, and as embarrassed and ashamed I am to have to admit this now, I wasn't the most careful when it came to practicing safe sex. Let me clarify that I was not by any means, promiscuous, I had a steady boyfriend from the age of 15 all through high school, but we were sexually active. Unlike most that I grew up with and with much objection from my family, instead of choosing to settle down with my high school sweetheart and make a life in my hometown, I high-tailed it to the city. I loved being single and living the carefree life of a young adult. I lived this life for a good ten years. I wasn't what you would call a serial dater, rather I bounced from one long term relationship to another ,but never really getting serious enough to even speak of marriage and settling down, if it came to that, then I was out, I shut down and moved onto the next guy. I didn't realize it at the time but as I reflect now, I see that I obviously had an issue with commitment. I was now creeping up on 30 and every conversation I had with my family and friends revolved around the fact that I was still single. "When are you going to settle down?" they would ask. "Don't you want to have children before you get too old?" Yada, yada, yada. The reality of it all was that I did want to settle down and I did want to start a family and in October of 2002 I got married. My new husband and I agreed that we both wanted to start a family as soon as possible. The first six months of trying go by with no success, no big deal; but as each month to follow passed by with me starting my period like clock work, the reality of what I had always suspected was now staring me right in the face. I can't get pregnant. Lovely…
It's something I have kind of always suspected about myself, I don't know how to explain it, I just knew, I knew something was wrong with me. I had been too lucky. I come from a small town where the teen pregnancy rate is typically higher than usual and in my small town there were few things to occupy the average rambunctious teenager so a lot of us ended up having sex at an early age. I knew more girls than I could count on two hands, girls that were my friends, that got pregnant at a young age and in every instance, it was an accident, a devastating accident. A few of them did choose to have their baby but most opted for abortion. I was never one of those girls, and as embarrassed and ashamed I am to have to admit this now, I wasn't the most careful when it came to practicing safe sex. Let me clarify that I was not by any means, promiscuous, I had a steady boyfriend from the age of 15 all through high school, but we were sexually active. Unlike most that I grew up with and with much objection from my family, instead of choosing to settle down with my high school sweetheart and make a life in my hometown, I high-tailed it to the city. I loved being single and living the carefree life of a young adult. I lived this life for a good ten years. I wasn't what you would call a serial dater, rather I bounced from one long term relationship to another ,but never really getting serious enough to even speak of marriage and settling down, if it came to that, then I was out, I shut down and moved onto the next guy. I didn't realize it at the time but as I reflect now, I see that I obviously had an issue with commitment. I was now creeping up on 30 and every conversation I had with my family and friends revolved around the fact that I was still single. "When are you going to settle down?" they would ask. "Don't you want to have children before you get too old?" Yada, yada, yada. The reality of it all was that I did want to settle down and I did want to start a family and in October of 2002 I got married. My new husband and I agreed that we both wanted to start a family as soon as possible. The first six months of trying go by with no success, no big deal; but as each month to follow passed by with me starting my period like clock work, the reality of what I had always suspected was now staring me right in the face. I can't get pregnant. Lovely…
Comments
I don't think that you did anything wrong in your past to not allow you to have children now. You are never too old in my opinion to have children, God gives us gifts and those gifts can be children no matter if you are unable to carry them or if you adopt...they are still yours! Please do not give up hope, go see a doctor, save money and try different ways to get pregnant then go forward and adopt or become a foster parent... trust me my sister said her whole life she didnt want children and her husband is unable and now she blames herself for saying those things as if she had any control over it.I understand your thoughts and hope you can look forward to the positive!!
Live today as it is your last, thus never having REGRETS!!
*edited my post because I saw that you have adopted and aren't needing to see infertility specialists!*
I am interested in hearing more of your story ... how did you go about adopting? It seems to be so expensive -- is that true?
yes... Adoption can be very, very expensive... depending on what route you choose to go... International being the most expensive then adopting domestically through an agency being next...
We adopted indpendently... our adoption cost a little over $5000 but now the IRS offers a $ 10,000 adoption tax credit so we were able to get all of our money back that we had spent on the adoption... We were very lucky and very blessed...
I will share more about my story and our adoption process in the coming days :)
A~
Thank you! I am eagerly awaiting hearing how you did it. We may end up going this route to grow our family.