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Kid on my back
I've posted about this before, but the situation is growing worse by the day. It's the case of the super-high-maintenance-kid-who-is-driving-me-to-the-loonybin.
It's my 4-year-old son. He doesn't allow me a moment's rest. Every waking milisecond, he is hanging on me, following me, asking me to play with him or do something for him, demanding something. We give him a lot of individual attention, but it's never enough. He truly needs an intervention.
I've tried to get him to play independently in his room, just so I can get some chores done or breathe or rest or go to the bathroom in privacy. I give him suggestions for things he can play or do, but he scoffs at all my ideas. He says he doesn't want to play by himself and that he doesn't want to do anything. Even when he's playing a computer game or watching a video, he wants me to be there in the room with him the entire time. And as much as I love watching him play Dora the Explorer games on Noggin, there's only so much "Come on! We have to get to the nutty forest. Vamanos!" I can stand.
I am at my wit's end. You know, I'm not just a mom, but I'm a person too, with interests and hobbies and things I like to do and things I have to get done, especially as I prepare for a new job. I know I signed up for motherhood, and I love being a mom, but I need some time to be me, too. And if I don't get it soon, I fear I will have to turn to illicit drugs or perhaps take up heavy drinking. I can't entertain and perform for him every second of every day. It's wearing me thin.
How do you all get your "me time," and how do you get your children to play by themselves from time to time?
That's Why We Can't Have Nice Things
I have three kids: a 5-year-old son, an 1-year-old son, and a 36-year-old husband. I'll be publicly making fun of all of them.
I've posted about this before, but the situation is growing worse by the day. It's the case of the super-high-maintenance-kid-who-is-driving-me-to-the-loonybin.
It's my 4-year-old son. He doesn't allow me a moment's rest. Every waking milisecond, he is hanging on me, following me, asking me to play with him or do something for him, demanding something. We give him a lot of individual attention, but it's never enough. He truly needs an intervention.
I've tried to get him to play independently in his room, just so I can get some chores done or breathe or rest or go to the bathroom in privacy. I give him suggestions for things he can play or do, but he scoffs at all my ideas. He says he doesn't want to play by himself and that he doesn't want to do anything. Even when he's playing a computer game or watching a video, he wants me to be there in the room with him the entire time. And as much as I love watching him play Dora the Explorer games on Noggin, there's only so much "Come on! We have to get to the nutty forest. Vamanos!" I can stand.
I am at my wit's end. You know, I'm not just a mom, but I'm a person too, with interests and hobbies and things I like to do and things I have to get done, especially as I prepare for a new job. I know I signed up for motherhood, and I love being a mom, but I need some time to be me, too. And if I don't get it soon, I fear I will have to turn to illicit drugs or perhaps take up heavy drinking. I can't entertain and perform for him every second of every day. It's wearing me thin.
How do you all get your "me time," and how do you get your children to play by themselves from time to time?
Comments
Thanks, guys! It is such a relief to know I'm not the only one. Recently, something that helped was to spark his imagination somehow, with an activity that we can start together but that he can finish on his own. The other day it was creating lego buildings to add to his rug that has roads and stuff on it.
Check out my blog, That's Why We Can't Have Nice Things!
I am right there with you. Good grief, my four-year-old not only wants me in the same room with him, but little sister, too....only she cannot actually play with his toys, but must bring her own. Thus, I become referee.
One glimmer of hope...the other day I walked in to find him reading a book to her. I held my breath to see how long it would last. One whole book. Wow.
Emerson has started playing more with her sister. That helps a ton. Especially, when I am working and I have them home (this doesn't happen often or I would never get anything done). One thing she really loves is her handheld Leapster game system. I like it because the games are educational and it does hold her attention. (most of the time):)
Heather, Site Editor/Administrator/Blogger
hwitherspoon@mom2momdfw.com
OK, I just read Heather's response. I wonder if this is an oldest child thing, too? They've held mom and dad's attention for so long ...
I don't know! Grasping at straws, really.
I run in to this too, especially since I started doing most of my work at home.
I also think part of it is sheer boredom on Jack's part -- maybe H feels this way too -- even though he has a sib, he can't exactly pal around with him yet ...
Does he have anyone he can get together with for regular playdates? That could help ... I know it helps Jack. Getting outside and running around to burn off energy helps too.
(I am ready for preschool to start back up! That will save my sanity ...)
The only help I can offer is you're not alone. I'm not sure what me time is? It used to be my drive into work. Now that I work from home, it's the drive home from dropping them off at preschool. Our 5-year-old is exactly the same. We've always wondered why she will not play alone. As she's aged it's improved but from 6am-to-8:30pm @ night it's nonstop, mom, dad, mom, dad......
Recently, we've wondered if she has ADHD. It's so constant. Maybe Kindergarten will help with this evaluation. We don't want to jump to conclusions, but nothing holds her attention for very long and certainly not alone.
Heather, Site Editor/Administrator/Blogger
hwitherspoon@mom2momdfw.com