blogs

There comes a time in a baby's life that I like to call the "maybe he’s teething" period. It starts when the baby is 4 months old. When he's crying and/or fussy, you first run through the usual steps: making sure he's dry, fed, well-rested, not too hot, not too cold, not bored, not lonely, and when nothing works, you say, "Well, maybe he’s teething." So you load him up with Tylenol, rub some Orajel on his gums and give him a teething ring. Even though you can't see or feel any teeth coming through the gums, it's a logical explanation for fussiness at this age.

Then, during Month 5, you run through the same steps as in Month 4, but you're a little quicker to say, "Maybe he’s teething." If he's dry, fed and well-rested, you load him up with Tylenol, rub some Orajel on his gums and give him a teething ring. It works. He stops fussing. Even though you can't see or feel any teeth coming through the gums. This ritual goes on pretty much every day during Month 5.

By the time he's 6 months old, if the baby so much as whimpers, you get out the Tylenol. You don't even bother going through any of the usual checks, because you are certain that "he must be teething!"

Until he has all his teeth, at about age 2, you keep the infant Tylenol in a holster around your waist, ready to draw at any second. During the teething phase, I'd say most babies are probably doped up on Tylenol and Orajel pretty much constantly (which is why they're called toddlers, btw – in their drug-induced state, how could they possibly walk without toddling about?)

The teething stage is possibly the worst stage a baby goes through – not so much for the baby, probably, but for the parents. They, too, remain doped up on something (hopefully legal) for a whole year and a half – it's the only way to stay sane during the teething. You know you're in the thick of it when you count how many times a day you say, "Maybe he's teething," or "I think he's teething," or "He must be teething," and it reaches double-digits. The grumpiness that teething causes is crazy-making stuff, I tell ya.

I've come to rely on the teething explanation for my husband, too. When he's moping, grumbling, complaining or whining, and there is no apparent reason for his grumpiness, I shrug my shoulders and say, "Maybe he's teething." Try as I may, though, I cannot drug him up enough to cure his grumpiness.