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My nine-year-old niece is quite the fashion plate. She always carries a handbag and a dainty plush cat (Don't ask.). Her hair is carefully combed and her clothes are neat. She draws pictures of women's hands laden with jewelry and bright nailpolish.

So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised when she grabbed my right hand this past weekend and asked if one of my rings was my wedding ring. I told her no and showed her the simple, diamond-encrusted band on my left hand.

"Wow, I thought you'd have something a little flashier," she said.

I laughed a little, pointed to my sweatsuit, and said that I wasn't exactly a flashy person.

My husband overheard the exchange so we discussed it later. I was a bit embarrassed by her comment. Was the wedding ring I had chosen that awful? Did I not measure up?

I had to remind myself that I was taking the comments of nine-year-old way too seriously. I began to worry about her more than myself.

Her parents are fine, responsible people, but what kind of values is she learning? Was she picking up these attitudes at school? From the media?

I wish I had asked her. I wish I had said something, but a lecture wouldn't have helped. Only time will help her learn those lessons.