That's Why We Can't Have Nice Things

The most valuable parenting tool ever

• Posted 4 mon. ago.

This little piggy went to the fridge...

...and took his chocolate Easter bunny when we weren't looking, ate some of it, then hid it under his bed.

• Posted 4 mon. ago.

Maybe He's Teething

There comes a time in a baby's life that I like to call the "maybe he’s teething" period. It starts when the baby is 4 months old. When he's crying and/or fussy, you first run through the usual steps: making sure he's dry, fed, well-rested, not too hot, not too cold, not bored, not lonely, and when nothing works, you say, "Well, maybe he’s teething." So you load him up with Tylenol, rub…

• Posted 4 mon. ago.

Because I Said So

We have a saying in our house: "Who's the boss? Not you!" Sometimes, for fun, I say, "Not Tony Danza," and then my husband does a funny impersonation of good ol’ Tony saying, "Suhmanthuhhhh!" But alas, our 4-year-old still believes he is the boss. And that is my fault.

• Posted 4 mon. ago.

To Santa or not to Santa

I'm having an internal struggle this year (a man vs. himself conflict, if you will), and that's whether to go on with the Santa charade with my 5-year-old. I don't know how old children generally are when their parents tell them the truth, or when they find out on their own or just stop believing. But I am so tempted to explain the truth to my son.

• Posted 1 week ago.

I'm boycotting Mr. Jim's. Three reasons why you sh…

My baby's first birthday was this weekend. We planned a family party at our house. I made a cake from scratch (!), we decorated the dining area, had a mound of gifts and a house full of hungry people. My plan was to order a bunch of pizzas for the dinner-time shindig.

• Posted 1 week ago.

How I cope with stress

As a new teacher, I have experienced more stress than ever over the past two months. Every day, I have something like 85 things on my list of things that have to get done, and I only have time to do about 10. Then the next day, 15 things get added to my list. I'm no math expert, but I believe that in the end, thousands of things will be left undone.

• Posted 2 weeks ago.

I can't believe he's 5!

My baby turned 5 this weekend! And now I'm saddened by how quickly it happened. When he was 5 months old and dealing with constant ear infections, it wasn't going by fast. When he was 8 months old and teething, it wasn't going by fast. When he was 2 and transitioning from crib to bed and keeping me up all hours of the night, it wasn't going by fast. When he was potty training and pooping on his b…

• Posted 1 mon. ago.

Helmet Schmelmet?

So my son is turning 5 in a few days. For his birthday, we got him a bike (with training wheels)and introduced it to him last weekend. Now, he did own a helmet, because we got him one about a year ago when a friend of ours gave us their son's old bike. Unfortunately, when we introduced the new bike, we could not find his helmet anywhere. After searching the house high and low for the helmet, th…

• Posted 1 mon. ago.

Sex for Halloween

Every October, I have the same rant. The one about women's and even young girls' Halloween costumes being the epitomy of skankocity and perpetuating the objectification of women and girls everywhere.

• Posted 1 mon. ago.